The Midgrade Myth

Because it isn't preview season until someone uncovers a media conspiracy. WEEK 25 Peoria, you're on notice.

In the interest of perpetuating the ravings of a lunatic who has never enjoyed a tasty ear of corn, I will not include Milwaukee (too far west), Cleveland (too far east), Detroit (too close to Canada), or Indianapolis (too far south) in my Central Division Preview. On to previewing the rest of the division.

1. Chicago Bulls (82-0)

Red Auerbach once said, "I'd rather be an assistant trainer with the Chicago Bulls than Boston's Vince Lombardi. [cough]" I always appreciated the moment when a New York legend like Auerbach showed the tiny cow town I call home some love. In that same carcinogen-filled spirit, I predict the Bulls will fail to lose any games this season. I promise to make offerings of Ditka Dogs to He Who Walks Behind the Rows once a week, and Common and Kanye are recording the championship track tomorrow.

Other TYI Previews: Northwest Division