Basketball Is Serious. Jesus Serious.

God told me to read this column from the Sun Journal's Kalle Oakes. Old Kalle (he was alive during the 1980s; that makes him at least 100) thinks 16 Celtics championships in 30 seasons will never happen again. I agree, there's no way Garnett lasts that long, but Kalle is trying to make a point about "whippersnappers" praising Tim Duncan, when real stars like Dennis Johnson were oh-so-much-more important.

Whippersnappers have no sense of history, and a dynasty needs to be defined by the amount of championships won by the Celtics over the course of an arbitrary amount of time. There couldn't be a team that had even more success, that is the true bullshitted qualifier for greatness, that demands religious overtones in a column by a hack writer. Impossible!

The Yankees won 17 championships in 30 seasons. "That will never, ever, no, neigh, never happen again in any professional sport as long as our great-great-great-great-grandchildren shall live."