Tuesday, September 04, 2007

'Captain' Kirk, 'A-Drain', And The Rest Are Lame

Fred Mitchell brought up a good point about the lack of creativity in Chicago's nickname industry. I've never been fond of old-timey baseball players, nostalgia, or Steve McMichael, but I agree that it's been a boring run of nicknames the past few years. Mitchell doesn't mention the past or present Bulls, but that's the alleged subject matter at TYI.

I like 'Captain' Kirk Hinrich. It's his formal role on the team, and a reference to a sci-fi tv/film franchise no one not wearing rubber ears will cop to watching. It's been rumored that Matt at Blogabull writes some sweet Star Trek fan fiction.

Adrian 'A-Drain' Griffin has similar origins to loathsome internet garbage like "teh," but it's acceptable because it would be impossible to come up with a more fitting nickname.

Ben 'The Body' Wallace is never going to catch on. I'm usually against nicknames following a player to different teams, but 'Big' Ben is indisputable at the moment.

Ben 'BG7' Gordon is a big no-no. Initials and jersey numbers should never, ever be mixed. The association with a tough to find energy drink isn't worth it.

Andres 'Chapu'/'Noc' Nocioni is borderline. I don't like the cartoon angle with 'Chapu', plus it's from his pre-Bulls days. Rules are rules, unless I bend them. It's like Toni 'The Waiter' Kukoc, another pre-Bulls nickname. 'The Croatian Sensation' had a ring to it. 'Noc' (rhymes with coach) is a mispronunciation, and only acceptable in 'The Noc' form.

It pretty much ends there. There's 'Duh' (rhymes with flu) Duhon, but that's more of a pet name Scott Skiles uses. There were plenty of ideas floating around the internet for former Bull, Michael Sweetney, but they were all crass and stupid. Nicknames are impossible to force, and the organic development of a good one is the best way to go. Of course, I'll bend the rules for Scott 'Paul McCrane' Skiles.

UPDATE: Matt Watson sez 'The Body' was around at least as far back as Wallace's days with the NBA team in Auburn Hills. 'The Broody', however, is original. I need to gulp down some BG7 to get my brain working right again.

9 Comments:

Anonymous Matt said...

(I wish I could lead with some insider Star Trek joke, but my nerd chops don't go that far.)

I remember this ending horribly before.

Agreed on A-Drain, Duh is similarly fitting, and I have a soft spot for Veektor or Khrappy or whatever else you can come up with for Khryapa. I hope my proposal of JamesOn 'The Promise' Curry can add another scrub nickname to the list. Organically, of course.

And 'BG7' almost works as a wink to his surely-to-be-debuting-soon energy drink.

3:38 PM  
Blogger Hot Shit College Student said...

I realized how many I left off as soon as I hit publish. I like 'The Promise', and 'Swiss Mister' needs to get out there more. 'Veektor' only works in text, unless you have a good, fake Russian accent. Isn't that right, Commander Chekhov?

I'll have the blogosphere furiously typing about the exciting, flashy, young Bulls by October.

3:56 PM  
Anonymous Matt W. said...

"The Body" may not catch on among fans, but that's been his nickname among players for years. Fans in Detroit kind of knew about it but never used it -- "Big Ben" is just too catchy.

4:55 PM  
Anonymous Matt said...

As long as he doesn't become 'the back' after more moments like Game 6 against the Pistons.

5:01 PM  
Blogger BenGo07 said...

You forgot Lu (as dumb as Du), T-Time (which I've decried here) and Marty Vicious, which was actually pretty good, but now no longer relevant. Perhaps Lurch (for Aaron Gray) will catch on.

I feel like Deng has unrealized possibility, although no inspiration has arrived.

8:13 PM  
Blogger BenGo07 said...

Should also mention that I toyed with Baby Gordon for a little bit, but since the association is as much with Harold Miner as with Jordan, I think it was wisely shelved.

8:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like calling Ben Gordan: BG- hollar if you with me, Ben Jordan or Michael Gordan.

12:09 AM  
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